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Being Me

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I’ve spent the last seven years or so thinking I need to be wearing clothes with a designer logo on them. I got it in my head that wearing brands would help me be the person who I thought I wanted to be, but it wasn’t who I wanted to be. It was who I thought society wanted me to be.
Recently though, I’ve realised just how much crap that all is. I still like wearing the branded pieces I’ve got, and there is a certain quality to them as well which isn’t always found in clothes without a designer brand on them. That said though, I’ve brought a few pieces recently and the quality is there, I think the trick is buying the right clothing. I’m not looking at the cheapest, or the expensive; I’m looking at what I like and if it feels like cheap crap, I won’t buy it.

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Recently I’ve brought a few new items of clothing: Three pairs of cargo trousers, two Gears of War T-Shirts (and a badass Gears of War hat), A Captain America T-Shirt and a Doom hoodie. I’ve also got a Punisher T-Shirt and my brother brought me a hoodie with a S.H.I.E.L.D. Logo proudly on the chest. (Yes, I know technically these are all brands).
These, I feel comfy in. I feel like myself when I’m wearing them. When I wear something with a designer brand emblazoned across the front I don’t feel anything, but if I’m wearing a Punisher T-Shirt, or a Captain America one, then I feel at home and I feel it says something about me. Yes, I’m geek, but also that I have a respect for what these characters stand for. It also can give the impression of what I’ve been through with these characters. I’m a comic book convert and will never be able to catch up with the decades of content there is, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful of my journey over these last few years.

The same can be said with video games. If someone asks me about Doom, because I’m wearing that hoodie, I can tell them about playing the original and how I just kind of randomly wondered around. I can tell them how hard I found Doom 3, and how much I’m looking forward to really getting stuck into the latest game in the series. I can also go into my experiences with Gears of War, more so as Gears of War is one of my staple games. Aside from the one which didn’t focus on Marcus Fenix I’ve got them all and am itching to get the next game that is out soon.

I’ll probably get some T-Shirts and so on that represent the bands I like as well.

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I’m buying the things I like. Whether that be something really geeky, or a designer piece that has taken my eye, but I’m not going to buy anything that I think others will like anymore. It’s got to be for me.

I’ve been denying who I am since my teens; now I’m seeing who I am again, I’m enjoying discovering myself. I’ve felt this for some time now.

I’m not going to hide it, I’m not going to change to please others or society overall.

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